Just read a great blog about why women with children tend to be stressed all the time. Basically, it says women know the unwritten rules for helping children fit into civil society and that includes what they pack for lunch, how their kids look when they walk out the door, being on time and having a fairly clean house. All of these things actually help a child feel safe and secure because they are not “standing out” by not fitting in.
Now I could argue all these points as not being a necessity but I also understand the writer’s point. This isn’t about conforming to a norm it is about the norm itself. The norm provides external security while our internal security has a chance to develop. If a child has to constantly worry about being the odd one in the lunch room, the car pool, the play date or school pictures, then he or she cannot put all his/her energy into developing an inner security about who they are.
And so, working mothers, feeling stressed about trying to get it right with healthy meals, clean homes and neat children is a gift you are giving to your children. However, the gift doesn’t extend to yourself. This is where your partner comes in. And me too. Instead of telling you to relax, chill and take extra time for yourself, your partner and I need to empathize and understand. What you need is support not another bit of advice.
Looking forward to your answers